Like a tree by the water

This morning, I'm waiting to hear about my car, which is loud as hell again, and hopefully can be fixed for as cheap or cheaper than last time, especially since it seems to be the same problem that was just fixed. Nonetheless, I'm looking for a good way to use my time while I wait. Intermittent napping while watching Unsolved Mysteries was not cutting it for me.

So I turned to the psalms...

Psalm 1
1 Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
2 but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

3 He is like a tree
planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.
4 The wicked are not so,
but are like chaff that the wind drives away.

5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;
6 for the Lord knows the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.


I feel like a tree, stubborn of the abundant life-giving source near it, trying to grow on its own. The stream flows not too far, but I send my roots in other directions. I try to grow tall and strong on my own. I find, though, that I'm not as strong as I want to be. My fruit seems mediocre at best, maybe with a few good ones popping out now and again.

I certainly don't think I've pulled all my roots away from the stream, but I send more away than I care to admit. I know God satisfies best, but I want so badly to find that in other things as well. These other things always fail, but like a fool I run back to them time and time again. I say, "maybe this time it will satisfy me. This time it will have more to offer." Or, "I'll just go to this for a little bit and then go back to God." As a result I feel, tired, strained, and unsatisfied. In order to get back to where I want to be I'm going to need to be broken of a few things.

In other words, to have my branches pruned. Have the dead things removed from me so that new things can spring forth and I can grow by the strength of the stream. It won't be simple, or easy, and I will most definitely fail again, but its progress.

Its progress...